My sister had surgery yesterday. She’ll be here in the hospital for the rest of this week. I’m going to start a Kickstarter campaign to make up bail money, because there’s no way I’ll make it through another night here without maiming a night nurse or breaking into a narcotics locker. If you donate $50, I’ll personally leave a message on your voicemail. It’ll be just me screaming over and over until I’m hoarse.
Donate $500 and I’ll come scream for you in person.